tired

I'm tired from trying. Stress physically!! Can someone pls tell me what to do?! can someone please help me?!! Seriously?!! muscle tear!!! that means i have to stop my cca? how can i cure it? What should i do to make to recover?! Ppl keep calling me to go for cca but i told them that i cant. In the end, i went there and i ran like 15 rounds and aft i rch home, it got worse. 2 days past and i still feel the pain... HOWW?!! They dun underestand and they keep saying i slack
and didnt put in effort?!! Why cant they just underestand the seriousness of it?!! Now i have difficulity walking?! I'm lost and i need advice! What can i do to make it recover? I really wann to train and i miss out alot of things and tha ppl are progressing AND i'm lagging..
Nobodys underestand how much i wanted to train and the love i have for my cca... i really feel like crying.. : (( The saddist news!!

:Z What should i do to cure it ? What type of treatment? Is chinese physician usefull??

me

Let's be friend forever!!

tired

seriously, i'm tired frm everything...
Why am i not happy at all?? Why do you have to exclude me frm everything??

i'm always telling myself that's it's ok.
We were born alone and eventually, we'll die alone...

It's ok to have no friend, cause when we grow up to be adult and even housewife, all we'll have is our family... no friend...

so it's ok... reallyy.. ??
i want to be ok! I keep telling myself that it's ok but why am i not even convincing myself??!!

Hate this kind of feeling!!

---

No feeling...

Tired- Sadded

sadded , sadded, pathetic life,

There's a saying that goes : You're never lonely because loneliness will always be with you.

It's totally true. I dun think i can change my fate le. Just blame it on my character than, Why am i sooo introvert. No matter how hard i try, i still cant interact with people well. And they doesnt underestand this.. They just ignore my pressence and do things or plan things without inviting me along... Without me? maybe i'm just a passer-by to thems...
I always tell myself it's ok to be lonely and even if no ones underestand you, it's also ok because in the end, you'll also be alone. It's just a matter of time.

We were born alone and we'll die alone.

It's ok, really, it;s really ok. I'll be fine and i'll definitely will... i think. People always says that i'm cheerful and i dun even underestand why?? Am i really truly happy? Am i really contented? Am i really ok with it??

i'll be fine... really...

how?

how?!! what am i suppose to do? i cant go for trainging for months? i'll lag behind. That's the things i sacred most.. I'll fail, all my effort will be gone.. and everythings gonna be over! I dun wann to lose out.

OMG !!! i think i really got muscle tear le. What should i do ?! Will it recover? I cant even lift my leg straight up. I leh cant lift! that means that i cant do front kick.!! My grading is coming too?!!
Oh My Days!! Why does all the unlucky thing always happen to me? ! I dun want to give up taekwondo, i love tkd!! Why am i always force to give up things i ,ove?

useless

Am i really that useless? Why cant i just do anythign right? Be it volleyball or taekwondo. Even my coach said that i'm a slacker. Shoold i just give up? I really cant take it anymore. All the stress?? I really want to do well in taekwondo but i just cant. No matter how much effort i put in and how many things i've sacrifice. Why cant i just do it?
The worst thing is not giving up, it is that no matter how much effort you put in and how hard you try and you still cant gain any acknowledge.
I even got muscle tear from it and i cant go for training, that's the worst. But nobody underestand. They keep telling me that it's nothing serious and that i should go for training. But i cant even lift my leg up?? I know that i'm lagging behind. I really dont knowwhat to do!I dun want to give up, really! I love tkds. Seriously. I wan to do well. But i got no speed nd power.. Everybody is doing well. It's not that i git no cinfidence, it's just that i know my own limit. Even my coach give up on me? !! Useless !! i'm just a loser! I cant do anything right!! I wann to do well! seriously i do !! There's no one to hear me out. Really?!! I wann to prove to others, but it's useless.... I REALLY DONT WANT TO GIVE UP.


What should i do? praying...

痛

你的快乐，我的痛
你的笑容，我的泪
你的不舍，我的罪

想你了

我想这因该不是爱情，因该是习惯，习惯了你的存在，习惯了你在我的身边，习惯了你的关怀，习惯了你的一切。。。 也许，我真的太自私了。。
我就是那么任性的不让你走，我这不合理的要求你会答应吗？
真的想你了，我想我真的习惯了你的存在。。


You are not him.. !! This is what i shld be clear of! You'll never be like him! You're not him!
i should'nt have treat you like him..

I'm wrong... But i cant get this feeling away! I wann the feeling ti disappear! How ?!! i really hate this kind of feeling!!
原来，那不是爱情..

放了我

如果你想我好过一点，就别再对我好，别给我多余的关心。。
就算我求你了，放过我吧！

我真的快要崩溃了。。。 在也受不了这种折磨了...

Please.. i'm really feeling terrible. I hate this kind of feeling! Just tell me, what must i do to get rid of all this feeling??

Going Bersek

None

I really hate the feeling of loving someone, espically when it's you being 一厢情愿..
It's not love, it's just that you are used to it! I really hope the feeling will go away. It's a really terrible feeling...
How i hope it will be numb... Guess i should just keep my distance away from you..
一个不可能有结局的爱情

Endless

这是个没有结局的爱情，没有开始的友情...
别在对我好了, 我会误会的. 我决不会让爱情发芽，我们之间到底是什么关系？为什么你要一次一次的伤害我？我怕我控制不了我自己，控制不了我的心。我的保户墙实在是太高了，令人无法跨越。这种过度的保户真的好吗？一种随着时间而产生的自我保护。连我自己也不知道为什么，你又怎么会知到呢？我的伪装真的太强了，强到没人发现。
为什么会有种想哭的感觉呢？

forever

想哭却没有眼泪...
别给我希望，因为希望就是奢望，而奢望会变成绝望...


Today , i saw a rainbow! and that's the nicest thing ever...

Lousy

I just can't seem to do anything right .. I'm such a failure...
Why cant i just get it right? Why cant i stretch? Why am i not flexible? Why cant i do a split? Why is the coach always finding trouble with me? Why everyone seems to hate me?
so many whyy... What can i do ?
--- Demoralised---
什么都没有，我真的那么讨人厌吗？？Why everyone like my best friend and not me? It feels like the whole world hate me .. ?! It a super duper lousy feeling..
Just what am i ?? Who am i ?? I really envy her, and super jealous of her as well... What should i do? So confused and vexed! There's nothing good abt me.. none, totally NONE!! No wonder no ones likes me,..
I think i shld just disappear, disappear from everyone.. to a faraway land.

I want to become stronger...


--- I'm such a lousy person, such a failure----

answer

Ques: Why are you so happy today?
Ans : Cause i cried last night

Ques : Why are you so happy everyday?
Ans : Cause i start with nothing and eventually, i'll end up with nothing... I wont lose anything.

LovEE

sotong say that tomolo she will be coming over to my school to study! So happy!!! So happy that she still rmb me..!!! How i hope she will be with me for years.. I really want to be friend with her for life.. I hope we will be like BRATZ (the movie).. The 4 of them are really closer than sister and i really envy them...



can someone pls tell me that we will be friends for life??

blue ( PeacE )

hope to be away from everything, away from this world...
A world with only peace, only me.. AlonE
I'll then be free ... No more 虚伪, 伪装, 背叛, 恐惧 ,出卖, 隐瞒, 欺骗, 愤怒, 嫉妒..
A perfect world taht everyone desire and people wish for.. Try imagine, try dreaming .. A world with only the colour blue and white.. Love the place!
Forever living in a world of my own..

Will it ever come true??

DREAMING....

secret

This is the only place where i can express all my feeling freely...
I'm such a bad friend ain't I ?? I even misunderstood my best friend... What a loser am i ?!
Hope she will feel my apologise ...

Sorry Zac and Jefed... It's not that i dun wann to go there with all of you. But it's just that i dun like to see Zo and the others getting drunk and then getting into trouble...
The smell of beer.. the smell of sadness, anger, hatred...

Forgive me.. I'll go there with all of you again next time.. I promise...
If you have any unhappiness with me, i rather you talk to me rather than to the others behind my back. I dun want to lose a sister.. We can solve everything if we are true. I rather you talk to me and try saving this friendship.. It's always the best to be true.
I'll rather accept the real us than the fake us...
pls, just say everything to me and not keep me in the dark! That's what sister are for.
Still rmb what we promise in the past?


i'm such a loser...

ME...

I just did lots of quiz at fb.. i didnt know that all the answer are so negative..
I'm not as happy as all of you sees... It's not that i dun cry, just that i dun like to cry infront of so many people... Pain, Fear, Lonely, Darknes... It's all what i'm experiencing...
I did lots of quiz on fb but i didnt publish it... I dun wannn people to know the real me...
Being outcast.. So afraid of the dark...

feel like crying, shouting with all my might... But to whom??

Why am i the choosen one to experience all this things?? All the things that's happening around me....
我什么都没有，亲情，爱情，友情...

Who can i talk to...?

The sky is always dark here??

爱只是它的艺名，而它的本名叫做孤单...
all i want is my dad to be back in singapore. i havent seen him for ow seriously in a financial problem and i have to find work to support my own poly life!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIFE?! i just wish to be like everyone else! buy what i like! why cant i?! Why do i always have to worry abt money and ppl do look down on me just because i dun have money and i eat bread for lunch!People like to ask me, why are you so happy today? and they ask me this question everyday.

what's the best answer for 'why are you so happy today?'
The ans is: i cried the last night!

What am i suppose to tell them? tell them i dont want people to know that i am sad and thus, i act happy everyday single day? i'm really tired from acting and acting tough every single day!!! . all i want is just someone who can underestand me and knows that i'm seriously suffering every single day! just someone who knows me. save me from all this shit!... pls

WHY?!!

More and more! the feeling of hatred are growing unknowingly. Why must i be a tools to you?!! Can't you just respect me?!

My Trueself

Finally, i know what i am and finally facing the truth. I'm someone who's lack of confidence, doesn't trust anyone in the entire world, sacred of stranger and unknown places, sacred of dark, like to act brave, stubborn like hell, like to act brave, doesn't like to cry infront of people, dislike sharing secret with people ,not really good tempered. AND, i'm super sensitive. I can know what's the person feeling by just looking at their facial expression and their behaviour. I will know a persons true personality-be ot good or bad, in just a few week. I can sense things easily. that's the best part of me i think and i kinda of like it anyway. I'm very super affected by what the others think of me and that's the part i hate most.
However, i'm someone whp is caring and very very LOYAL, not someone who will betray or backstab others. I hate people lying to me and i prefer people just say all the unhappiness abt me rather than telling someone else!! I prefer people to be straight with me ad i hate people commenting on the way i dress! I love to be alone and i love going to the sea , looking at the sky during the night and day.I love the clouds most! I know i like anime and it's like a realistic world to me. I hate the world i'm living in and i think anime like is best for me.! I know i'm becoming more and more inrealistic, but i love it.

I love my own world! I love being alone!

the second week of school. I think , no , should be, i'm sure that i cannot fit in the class... I can't even get along with them. It's like there's so much differences in our character!! They are those high profile ppl but i'm not. i hope i can fix in but i know i can't! i dun feel secure at all!! They even have their own clique already!! I feel like i'm playing survival game everyday.. How am i going to survive another 2 and a half year?!!! can anyone tell me wt to do... It's not that i dun wann to talk to them. I tried , but useless. They doesn't really response to me ... ?!!! How?!! another miserable life!!!!

HATE POLY!!!!!!!!!! HATE THE CLASS!!

i think, in the end , i still prefer secondary ..!!!

I miss all of you!!! at least i feel abit secure with all of you around me : ((

sacred

tomolo will be the first day of orientation!!!! Super sacred! i'm not sacred of the new environment, but beacuse the ppl over there went to the camp before the orientation!!!

Is apperance that important?? Doesn't anybody look at inner beauty. ?? Ppl always say i lack of confident and i agree with that... Must everybody be pretty??

Till now, i still can't believe that i'm posted to SP !! Now, i'm finding a part time job that i can work while studying..

施舍了一切，只希望能换你会来。可是最后还是放弃你，也就等放弃我自己。。。


Hopeless...

Happy birthday

Yeah... My birthday is coming!!! gonna be 18 this year : ))
But i guess i'll be celebrating it alone...
But it's okay... It's better for me too..

在这世上，没有人可以完全了解一个人