WHY?!!

More and more! the feeling of hatred are growing unknowingly. Why must i be a tools to you?!! Can't you just respect me?!

My Trueself

Finally, i know what i am and finally facing the truth. I'm someone who's lack of confidence, doesn't trust anyone in the entire world, sacred of stranger and unknown places, sacred of dark, like to act brave, stubborn like hell, like to act brave, doesn't like to cry infront of people, dislike sharing secret with people ,not really good tempered. AND, i'm super sensitive. I can know what's the person feeling by just looking at their facial expression and their behaviour. I will know a persons true personality-be ot good or bad, in just a few week. I can sense things easily. that's the best part of me i think and i kinda of like it anyway. I'm very super affected by what the others think of me and that's the part i hate most.
However, i'm someone whp is caring and very very LOYAL, not someone who will betray or backstab others. I hate people lying to me and i prefer people just say all the unhappiness abt me rather than telling someone else!! I prefer people to be straight with me ad i hate people commenting on the way i dress! I love to be alone and i love going to the sea , looking at the sky during the night and day.I love the clouds most! I know i like anime and it's like a realistic world to me. I hate the world i'm living in and i think anime like is best for me.! I know i'm becoming more and more inrealistic, but i love it.

I love my own world! I love being alone!

the second week of school. I think , no , should be, i'm sure that i cannot fit in the class... I can't even get along with them. It's like there's so much differences in our character!! They are those high profile ppl but i'm not. i hope i can fix in but i know i can't! i dun feel secure at all!! They even have their own clique already!! I feel like i'm playing survival game everyday.. How am i going to survive another 2 and a half year?!!! can anyone tell me wt to do... It's not that i dun wann to talk to them. I tried , but useless. They doesn't really response to me ... ?!!! How?!! another miserable life!!!!

HATE POLY!!!!!!!!!! HATE THE CLASS!!

i think, in the end , i still prefer secondary ..!!!

I miss all of you!!! at least i feel abit secure with all of you around me : ((

sacred

tomolo will be the first day of orientation!!!! Super sacred! i'm not sacred of the new environment, but beacuse the ppl over there went to the camp before the orientation!!!

Is apperance that important?? Doesn't anybody look at inner beauty. ?? Ppl always say i lack of confident and i agree with that... Must everybody be pretty??

Till now, i still can't believe that i'm posted to SP !! Now, i'm finding a part time job that i can work while studying..

施舍了一切，只希望能换你会来。可是最后还是放弃你，也就等放弃我自己。。。


Hopeless...

Happy birthday

Yeah... My birthday is coming!!! gonna be 18 this year : ))
But i guess i'll be celebrating it alone...
But it's okay... It's better for me too..

在这世上，没有人可以完全了解一个人

i guess this is really a forgotten world....
在也没有任何感觉了 ... 孤僻这两个字对我来说在也不陌生了

Can anyone really hear me? I dont wann to cry anymore...??

我的感觉已经麻木了...快乐是什么？ 痛又是多痛? 我还能做什么? 现在的我可以很确定的说我的存在根本就是多余的，又会有谁注意到我的存在？这又如何？多希望能一个人躲起来。 别再说懂我了，这样的你们会让我更痛... I'm not greedy! All i want is just to have 1 friend who truly know me.. 你们一次又一次的背叛了我对你们的信任。我是多么的恨你们！！！ 笑就代表快乐吗？ 我笑是因为我想为我想伪装我的痛苦。。。

I'm going beserk!!!!! All you know is the fake me!! Have you all every tried to underestand me? Sick and tired of everything... Running away from the reality. living in hell!!

Smile.... all i can do is smile. I swear i wont ever ever open my heart to anyone anymore! It's hopeless, i've tried. All i get back is more hurt!!!

BLEEDING HEART

当你的好朋友离你而去，变成了别人的好朋友是，你一定是在想，她抢走了你的好朋友。 但你有没有想过，是你的好朋友不要你了，是你的好朋友离开你，是你的好朋友心甘情愿跟她的。 所以我想信在这世上，没有人可以从别人的身边抢走谁...

ROCHELLE
sometime, i wondered if i never change school, will we be close friend?? I thimk i have regretted changing school. Have I ?? Will we be as close as last time? i doubt so. Seeing you living so happily makes me happy too... T^reasure your friend. Will i ever have one? I really love fitting into your life. I wanted to be part of it. But i think it's impossible. Do anyone mind telling me that whether i have a friend anot? A real one? Awill a thing called friendship ever exist in my life??

Thanks Amanda!!!
talking with you really lighten me up. You said that we are given a present and that is that we will have at least 1 trye friends in our life. It's just a matter of time. This time? Can i believe you? I'm scared of disappointment. You are lucky, you have already meet your true friends. You dont know how i envy you. Treasure everything that you have now: ) Dont be like me, : )

Hope i can meet mine soon.. Will i even have one??