blue ( PeacE )

hope to be away from everything, away from this world...
A world with only peace, only me.. AlonE
I'll then be free ... No more 虚伪, 伪装, 背叛, 恐惧 ,出卖, 隐瞒, 欺骗, 愤怒, 嫉妒..
A perfect world taht everyone desire and people wish for.. Try imagine, try dreaming .. A world with only the colour blue and white.. Love the place!
Forever living in a world of my own..

Will it ever come true??

DREAMING....

secret

This is the only place where i can express all my feeling freely...
I'm such a bad friend ain't I ?? I even misunderstood my best friend... What a loser am i ?!
Hope she will feel my apologise ...

Sorry Zac and Jefed... It's not that i dun wann to go there with all of you. But it's just that i dun like to see Zo and the others getting drunk and then getting into trouble...
The smell of beer.. the smell of sadness, anger, hatred...

Forgive me.. I'll go there with all of you again next time.. I promise...
If you have any unhappiness with me, i rather you talk to me rather than to the others behind my back. I dun want to lose a sister.. We can solve everything if we are true. I rather you talk to me and try saving this friendship.. It's always the best to be true.
I'll rather accept the real us than the fake us...
pls, just say everything to me and not keep me in the dark! That's what sister are for.
Still rmb what we promise in the past?


i'm such a loser...

ME...

I just did lots of quiz at fb.. i didnt know that all the answer are so negative..
I'm not as happy as all of you sees... It's not that i dun cry, just that i dun like to cry infront of so many people... Pain, Fear, Lonely, Darknes... It's all what i'm experiencing...
I did lots of quiz on fb but i didnt publish it... I dun wannn people to know the real me...
Being outcast.. So afraid of the dark...

feel like crying, shouting with all my might... But to whom??

Why am i the choosen one to experience all this things?? All the things that's happening around me....
我什么都没有，亲情，爱情，友情...

Who can i talk to...?

The sky is always dark here??

爱只是它的艺名，而它的本名叫做孤单...
all i want is my dad to be back in singapore. i havent seen him for ow seriously in a financial problem and i have to find work to support my own poly life!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIFE?! i just wish to be like everyone else! buy what i like! why cant i?! Why do i always have to worry abt money and ppl do look down on me just because i dun have money and i eat bread for lunch!People like to ask me, why are you so happy today? and they ask me this question everyday.

what's the best answer for 'why are you so happy today?'
The ans is: i cried the last night!

What am i suppose to tell them? tell them i dont want people to know that i am sad and thus, i act happy everyday single day? i'm really tired from acting and acting tough every single day!!! . all i want is just someone who can underestand me and knows that i'm seriously suffering every single day! just someone who knows me. save me from all this shit!... pls

WHY?!!

More and more! the feeling of hatred are growing unknowingly. Why must i be a tools to you?!! Can't you just respect me?!

My Trueself

Finally, i know what i am and finally facing the truth. I'm someone who's lack of confidence, doesn't trust anyone in the entire world, sacred of stranger and unknown places, sacred of dark, like to act brave, stubborn like hell, like to act brave, doesn't like to cry infront of people, dislike sharing secret with people ,not really good tempered. AND, i'm super sensitive. I can know what's the person feeling by just looking at their facial expression and their behaviour. I will know a persons true personality-be ot good or bad, in just a few week. I can sense things easily. that's the best part of me i think and i kinda of like it anyway. I'm very super affected by what the others think of me and that's the part i hate most.
However, i'm someone whp is caring and very very LOYAL, not someone who will betray or backstab others. I hate people lying to me and i prefer people just say all the unhappiness abt me rather than telling someone else!! I prefer people to be straight with me ad i hate people commenting on the way i dress! I love to be alone and i love going to the sea , looking at the sky during the night and day.I love the clouds most! I know i like anime and it's like a realistic world to me. I hate the world i'm living in and i think anime like is best for me.! I know i'm becoming more and more inrealistic, but i love it.

I love my own world! I love being alone!

the second week of school. I think , no , should be, i'm sure that i cannot fit in the class... I can't even get along with them. It's like there's so much differences in our character!! They are those high profile ppl but i'm not. i hope i can fix in but i know i can't! i dun feel secure at all!! They even have their own clique already!! I feel like i'm playing survival game everyday.. How am i going to survive another 2 and a half year?!!! can anyone tell me wt to do... It's not that i dun wann to talk to them. I tried , but useless. They doesn't really response to me ... ?!!! How?!! another miserable life!!!!

HATE POLY!!!!!!!!!! HATE THE CLASS!!

i think, in the end , i still prefer secondary ..!!!

I miss all of you!!! at least i feel abit secure with all of you around me : ((

sacred

tomolo will be the first day of orientation!!!! Super sacred! i'm not sacred of the new environment, but beacuse the ppl over there went to the camp before the orientation!!!

Is apperance that important?? Doesn't anybody look at inner beauty. ?? Ppl always say i lack of confident and i agree with that... Must everybody be pretty??

Till now, i still can't believe that i'm posted to SP !! Now, i'm finding a part time job that i can work while studying..

施舍了一切，只希望能换你会来。可是最后还是放弃你，也就等放弃我自己。。。


Hopeless...

Happy birthday

Yeah... My birthday is coming!!! gonna be 18 this year : ))
But i guess i'll be celebrating it alone...
But it's okay... It's better for me too..

在这世上，没有人可以完全了解一个人

i guess this is really a forgotten world....
在也没有任何感觉了 ... 孤僻这两个字对我来说在也不陌生了

Can anyone really hear me? I dont wann to cry anymore...??